Welcome to the Neighborhood!

So we've moved into a condo and with a condo comes the homeowner's association. Lucky for us, we moved in just in time for the annual HOA meeting. Since we had no cable or internet, we opted to attend the meeting. Only about 20% of the condos were represented and we got to hear the president get on his soapbox about the owner's who don't care about the association and what's going on in their neighborhood. A hour and a half later, we understood why they didn't show. I think we spent 20 minutes listening to our new neighbor talk about the proper mixture of sand and rock to make concrete sidewalks that won't degrade with winter salt thrown on them. They also spent another 30 minutes on whether to number the parking spaces or not and whose dog is shitting in what yard. I'm not joking.

We simply wanted to bring up the fact that we were unable to get a loan due to the HOA insurance. The president said he'd heard from a few realtors about that and then proceeded to discuss how some programs require more building insurance than others but those are basically programs for people who can't put 50% down. What? If I could've put 50% down then I wouldn't be living here!

Needless to say, we will not be in attendance at the next annual meeting. Last night was an hour and a half of my life that I'll never get back.

Oh... and I think this place always smells like the back end of a cow. Nothing better than sitting on the deck eating dinner and smelling cows. I don't belong in the country.

The 30 year commitment

Closing. Finally.

After signing/initializing over 50 pages of repeated crap and financial non-sense today, I was just ready to leave. I may have officially given away a kidney at one point. Hopefully I don't wake up in a bathtub full of ice.

So less than a week after returning from a huge trip and two days after closing, we move into the new condo Saturday. Thankfully my parents are coming out to help. That should be a fun day or so. And as a major bonus, my Mom is bringing out strawberry shortcake. I think that may make all of this worth it.

The sleep of the innocent

Well, it's about 24 hours before we may close on our condo, but it's still not a sure thing. I'm all for procrastination, but not in this type of situation. We already had one loan fall through over $10 worth of home insurance the day before, so I'm a bit nervous.

The bonus is, I'm so freaking tired from jet lag (no sleep at all last night) that I haven't really thought about it. I had to go back to work today, so I just focused on that and reading the internet. Two weeks of work backed up? Meh, that'll keep. Actually, because I have an awesome boss and great co-workers, I didn't have that much to catch up on and I was able to go into work at 7 a.m. and leave at 3. My boss doesn't much care, as long as the work gets done and I keep my hours accurate.

So I'll just spend tonight worrying about the mortgage coming through. I'm guessing that's what the sellers are doing to. I feel a little bad for them, but not much. After all, we're getting screwed in this too. This new loan includes PMI, so we'll be paying more each month. Think anybody will pay me to blog or write?

Now I just gotta stay awake until a normal bed time to try and get back to East Coast US time. Damn New Zealand and your seeing into the future. Tell me what will happen tomorrow!

Back home again...

but not Indiana. We're back in lovely little State College. After we each slept for about 12 hours last night (a new record for me, I think), we drove back to our apartment. A mere 9 hours, thanks to construction.

Now, we have to see if anybody will let us purchase a house in 36 hours. It's still up in the air. No big deal. And if it falls through again, we get to search for a short-term apartment since we'll be homeless as of June 30. We're hoping for a little luck on the house front for once. But after the best possible luck during our big trip, we may have earned a little bad luck. I hope not, since we've had spades of bad luck on this house thing, but we'll see.

Now I have to go back to work tomorrow. Reality is setting back in and I really don't like it. I need to score a job as a travel writer. Anybody hiring?

Beauty and rage

Ah, Seattle. Beautiful city, amazing weather. Great day for an outdoor wedding. We drove out to little Enumclaw yesterday from the big, scary city and were amazed at the scenery. Well, E and I were. The groom, who was driving us around, grew up in this town and didn't understand why E broke her camera out to shoot about 3 dozen pics of towering Mt. Rainier. Seriously, it looks like a freaking Bob Ross painting.

The bummer was, we got an email from the previously blogged about mortgage broker. Yep, our mortgage fell through. Did we get rejected for not making enough? Nope. Bad credit? Nah. Bank going under? No again.

No, we get the weakest excuse in the history of time. The Condo Association doesn't have good enough "master insurance" coverage. So even though we purchased insurance to cover the difference (already paid for, of course) Chase bank decided that wasn't acceptable. So, no loan. Buh-bye.

Allow me to rant for a few seconds. There will be swearing and vulgarity, so don't read the next paragraph if you have sensitivities.

Hey, Chase? Yeah, screw you. I hope you go under and the feds end all bailout programs just for you. May Obama never give you another cent, you assbags. May economic vultures rip every cent from your rotting carcass. Burn in flames and die. (This has been edited upon request. I was much more...colorful.)

I feel better now. Ready for a beautiful wedding!

UPDATE: Our mortgage broker thinks he's found another good loan for us that will be ready by the time we get back. So hopefully we won't be homeless. Yeah

Stupid Legos

It's never fun to spend National Cookout Day at work, but much worse when working by yourself after two hours of sleep.

I can't complain much, given that my boss let me work today so I can take Friday off instead. But the lack of sleep is killing me. I guess all the stuff going on in the next few weeks is starting to set in.

I just don't understand why I wasn't thinking about that last night when I was laying in bed and eventually on the sofa till 5 a.m.? No I wasn't thinking about closing on the house Wednesday, driving to Indiana Thursday or flying to Seattle on Friday. I was thinking about the Lego Batman video game I've been playing, The Reader, which we watched last night, and a steady stream of Springsteen songs.

Yep, we're about to become homeowners and then fly halfway around the world to New Zealand and I couldn't shut my brain off from Lego Robin throwing Batarangs at bad guys dressed as psychotic clowns. Well, and Kate Winslet naked. That one made more sense and helped me feel a little more normal.

$86 sentimentality

So it's less than a week before we close and got an email from our realtor. The sellers want to take their "chandelier" (a standard looking Lowe's light fixture) with them, but conveniently forgot to mention that till now. I love that it's for sentimental reasons. The house was built in 2003 and they redid the kitchen in 2005 or so. Perhaps they brought it from their last place, but who does that?

They offered to buy and install a replacement originally, which we're fine with. It's just a freaking light. But then they said they'd only give us $86 because that's what they paid for the one their taking. So some cheap-ass light fixture from a big-box hardware store has sentimental value? So strange.

Hopefully that's the last hiccup till we close. I think Tom Hanks was right, never buy a house.

Packin'

People pack and move in two very different ways. You may collect boxes a few months in advance, slowly putting things away over that time and carefully labeling the boxes for which room they go in, so that most of your stuff is ready to go a week or two before you actually move.

Or you can run to a liquor store a few days before you move, beg for boxes and just load all your crap as quickly as you can the day before your lease expires. I'm a fan of this method, with some degree of experience.

The house will be the 9th place I've lived since 2000. It will be the fifth place I've lived in with my lovely wife since 2004. We may not be geographically stable, but we do have our familiar patterns.

I have no desire to pack anything until a maximum of a week before we move. She's already got several boxes filled, ready and waiting to go. I'm looking forward to the next three years without moving. That'll be nice.

Questions and time killing

Perhaps some people have a few questions as to what and why E and I are doing all of this now. I'll try to be pre-emtive, so here goes.

Why New Zealand?

Why not? Basically, I've wanted to go there since elementary school (no, it's not some Lord of the Rings obsession).

Did you win the lottery to afford all this?

Well, no. E and I have been saving for a few years for a big trip and it was this or Australia. Given the short time frame, and New Zealand is only the size of Colorado, that won. We've also been saving for a down payment on a house and costs are much cheaper here than elsewhere. Plus, we wanted to do our part to re-start the global economy. We're just do-gooders like that.

Why buy a house now, since you won't be in this town for more than 3-4 more years, at most?

Good question. Basically, this is why. So if we can sell it for what we paid, it's like living rent free for a few years. Thanks Congress!

Who's in Seattle and why are you both going?

Well, one of my best friends is from the Grungeville (or a small town with a glorious history nearby). I'm happy for him and incredibly curious as to what woman could tolerate his yetti-like appearance and collection of ironic t-shirts. Plus I love Seattle and will take any excuse to visit.

What are you going to do in NZ?

Not really sure. We've got the Lonely Planet guide and we'll have a car. It's going to be early winter there, so I've heard there won't be too many other travellers. So finding a hostel every night will hopefully be easy.

Coffee, Kiwi and closing

May and June 2009 will likely be among the most memorable of my life, either good or bad. Hopefully good. But I wanted to write about what is going on, most of it in the span of two and a half weeks.

Not to get too detailed, but my wife (E) and I bought a house, I'll be in a wedding in Seattle, then we'll spend 10 days traveling in New Zealand. And then come back and to move into said house. All within 3 weeks. If you need me in July, I'll be asleep.

So my goal is to write short snippets of humor, struggles and experiences over the next few months. If you want to follow along, feel free to come back. I plan to update at least every few days. But laziness may win out.