Beauty and rage

Ah, Seattle. Beautiful city, amazing weather. Great day for an outdoor wedding. We drove out to little Enumclaw yesterday from the big, scary city and were amazed at the scenery. Well, E and I were. The groom, who was driving us around, grew up in this town and didn't understand why E broke her camera out to shoot about 3 dozen pics of towering Mt. Rainier. Seriously, it looks like a freaking Bob Ross painting.

The bummer was, we got an email from the previously blogged about mortgage broker. Yep, our mortgage fell through. Did we get rejected for not making enough? Nope. Bad credit? Nah. Bank going under? No again.

No, we get the weakest excuse in the history of time. The Condo Association doesn't have good enough "master insurance" coverage. So even though we purchased insurance to cover the difference (already paid for, of course) Chase bank decided that wasn't acceptable. So, no loan. Buh-bye.

Allow me to rant for a few seconds. There will be swearing and vulgarity, so don't read the next paragraph if you have sensitivities.

Hey, Chase? Yeah, screw you. I hope you go under and the feds end all bailout programs just for you. May Obama never give you another cent, you assbags. May economic vultures rip every cent from your rotting carcass. Burn in flames and die. (This has been edited upon request. I was much more...colorful.)

I feel better now. Ready for a beautiful wedding!

UPDATE: Our mortgage broker thinks he's found another good loan for us that will be ready by the time we get back. So hopefully we won't be homeless. Yeah

Our mortgage broker shall die...

So today I call the broker guy to see exactly how much our check needs to be at closing. He nonchalantly mentions that he had to have a few more papers completed for the lender and that closing may be pushed back. I so kindly informed him that we are leaving Thursday afternoon for 2 1/2 weeks and will be out of the country. I can't tell you how upsetting it is to be let down like this less than 24 hours before we were scheduled to close. So because our broker underestimated the process, we will be closing when we return from our trip. Financially it makes more sense for us and fortunately the broker is going to cover extension fees as well as any requests from the sellers. As long as we purchase the place in June I won't have a emotional breakdown or be homeless.

Purchasing a home is supposed leave you excited and a little nervous, not incredibly disappointed and upset.

~The Better Half

Stupid Legos

It's never fun to spend National Cookout Day at work, but much worse when working by yourself after two hours of sleep.

I can't complain much, given that my boss let me work today so I can take Friday off instead. But the lack of sleep is killing me. I guess all the stuff going on in the next few weeks is starting to set in.

I just don't understand why I wasn't thinking about that last night when I was laying in bed and eventually on the sofa till 5 a.m.? No I wasn't thinking about closing on the house Wednesday, driving to Indiana Thursday or flying to Seattle on Friday. I was thinking about the Lego Batman video game I've been playing, The Reader, which we watched last night, and a steady stream of Springsteen songs.

Yep, we're about to become homeowners and then fly halfway around the world to New Zealand and I couldn't shut my brain off from Lego Robin throwing Batarangs at bad guys dressed as psychotic clowns. Well, and Kate Winslet naked. That one made more sense and helped me feel a little more normal.

$86 sentimentality

So it's less than a week before we close and got an email from our realtor. The sellers want to take their "chandelier" (a standard looking Lowe's light fixture) with them, but conveniently forgot to mention that till now. I love that it's for sentimental reasons. The house was built in 2003 and they redid the kitchen in 2005 or so. Perhaps they brought it from their last place, but who does that?

They offered to buy and install a replacement originally, which we're fine with. It's just a freaking light. But then they said they'd only give us $86 because that's what they paid for the one their taking. So some cheap-ass light fixture from a big-box hardware store has sentimental value? So strange.

Hopefully that's the last hiccup till we close. I think Tom Hanks was right, never buy a house.

Time Travel

I've heard all about the strange time differences when traveling and experienced them myself on other trips. But I've never actually lost a day. June 1 will not exist in my life. We fly out of San Francisco at like 8 p.m. May 31. We land in Auckland at around 5 a.m. June 2. So it's basically a red eye, 12 hour flight. It actually sounds easier to handle than the 8 hour difference you get going to Europe.

The return, however, is going to mess me up. I hope my boss won't expect much my first day back. We leave Auckland at 7 p.m. or so June 12. We get into L.A. the next day around noon. Then, after an 11 hour layover at LAX, another red eye back home. Also on June 12. Does anybody have any experience dealing with back-to-back red eye's? I just want to survive.

Oh, and don't take this as whining. I know I'm tremendously lucky to be doing this. But holy crap I won't want to pack and move the next week.

Packin'

People pack and move in two very different ways. You may collect boxes a few months in advance, slowly putting things away over that time and carefully labeling the boxes for which room they go in, so that most of your stuff is ready to go a week or two before you actually move.

Or you can run to a liquor store a few days before you move, beg for boxes and just load all your crap as quickly as you can the day before your lease expires. I'm a fan of this method, with some degree of experience.

The house will be the 9th place I've lived since 2000. It will be the fifth place I've lived in with my lovely wife since 2004. We may not be geographically stable, but we do have our familiar patterns.

I have no desire to pack anything until a maximum of a week before we move. She's already got several boxes filled, ready and waiting to go. I'm looking forward to the next three years without moving. That'll be nice.

Questions and time killing

Perhaps some people have a few questions as to what and why E and I are doing all of this now. I'll try to be pre-emtive, so here goes.

Why New Zealand?

Why not? Basically, I've wanted to go there since elementary school (no, it's not some Lord of the Rings obsession).

Did you win the lottery to afford all this?

Well, no. E and I have been saving for a few years for a big trip and it was this or Australia. Given the short time frame, and New Zealand is only the size of Colorado, that won. We've also been saving for a down payment on a house and costs are much cheaper here than elsewhere. Plus, we wanted to do our part to re-start the global economy. We're just do-gooders like that.

Why buy a house now, since you won't be in this town for more than 3-4 more years, at most?

Good question. Basically, this is why. So if we can sell it for what we paid, it's like living rent free for a few years. Thanks Congress!

Who's in Seattle and why are you both going?

Well, one of my best friends is from the Grungeville (or a small town with a glorious history nearby). I'm happy for him and incredibly curious as to what woman could tolerate his yetti-like appearance and collection of ironic t-shirts. Plus I love Seattle and will take any excuse to visit.

What are you going to do in NZ?

Not really sure. We've got the Lonely Planet guide and we'll have a car. It's going to be early winter there, so I've heard there won't be too many other travellers. So finding a hostel every night will hopefully be easy.

David Baldacci and other crap

I'm going to be on an airplane for a minimum of 36 hours over the course of two weeks, so I need something easy to kill time. Thankfully, some local organization had their annual used book fundraiser this weekend. Four easy-to-digest paperbacks for like seven bucks. But the weird thing is, the sale was in the Ag Arena.

I wish I made that up. In this town, everybody knows the Ag Arena on campus. The floor was about the size of two basketball courts. Tables were everywhere and all were covered in books of every kind. You've never seen so many John Grisham paperbacks.

Anyway, the most fun was the people. Young kids, old people and college-age kids staring down and slowly shuffling sideways through the aisles. One poor schlub looking for a few titles his wife/girlfriend/controller asked him to search for. Then her plastic bag ripped open from too much weight and he got to pick everything up. I'm sure he'd be considered sweet by some. I probably would have laughed at the bag ripping and books tumbling around.

The Cheapo

I'm searching for car rental places in New Zealand and have no idea what I'm doing. How do I know what's a good deal? Can I trust backpacker message board advice? Will the vehicle smell like hobbits and fuzzy fruit?

One site I've looked at specializes in "discount" rentals, which is terrifying. They have one level of cars called "El Cheapo" for only $20 NZ a day. But all the cars are vintage 1998-2000 with a minimum of 200,000 KM. I have no idea how much that is, but it sounds high. Sitting on the left side of the road halfway between Christcurch and Queenstown with a blown radiator would likely be a bad thing. So we'll probably avoid "the cheapo". Still, that's a great name. Maybe I'll start calling my truck that.

Coffee, Kiwi and closing

May and June 2009 will likely be among the most memorable of my life, either good or bad. Hopefully good. But I wanted to write about what is going on, most of it in the span of two and a half weeks.

Not to get too detailed, but my wife (E) and I bought a house, I'll be in a wedding in Seattle, then we'll spend 10 days traveling in New Zealand. And then come back and to move into said house. All within 3 weeks. If you need me in July, I'll be asleep.

So my goal is to write short snippets of humor, struggles and experiences over the next few months. If you want to follow along, feel free to come back. I plan to update at least every few days. But laziness may win out.